Welcome to the love-filled month of February! As we dive into themes of love, relationships, and self-discovery this month, many wonder if I'm a relationship coach. While I don’t niche on coaching people through romantic relationships, as an Authentic Alignment Coach who is passionate about helping people come to know themselves, trust themselves, and love themselves, I’d say yes, I am.
I’m a relationship coach who helps people connect with their inner soul mate and date themselves. And, because I believe that your relationship with yourself builds a foundation for all of your other relationships in life, I help people improve all their relationships from the inside out.
Don’t believe me?
Think about it. If you aren’t connected with yourself or aligned with your authentic truth, it’s nearly impossible for you to be authentic, vulnerable, and present in your relationships with others. Let's explore three common challenges that arise when we lack self-awareness::
1. Boundaries
Boundaries are a bit of a buzz word. However, a lot of people use the word “boundaries” when they’re really talking about rules or using boundaries to replace the phrase “trying to control other people’s behavior.” Healthy boundaries require self-knowledge because boundaries are all about managing YOU.
People who lack healthy boundaries tend to struggle because they don’t know what they want or need or because they lack the confidence to take proactive, authentically aligned action. This also leads to resentment in their relationships.
2. Co-Dependency
When you lack a solid relationship with yourself or you struggle to trust yourself, you’ll naturally turn to others to, essentially, think for you. You can become a slave to other people’s opinions, expectations, or reactions to guide you or to define how you view yourself. When that happens, life can feel like a roller coaster, constantly shifting directions and sending your emotions on different twists and turns, depending on who you’re with and how they’re responding to you.
When you have a healthy relationship with yourself, other people’s reactions and opinions become information that can help you navigate your relationships more smoothly and without the emotional whiplash of the co-dependent roller coaster.
3. Presence
One of the greatest gifts we can give others is our focused attention. As a single parent, this is something my kids remind me of frequently—even life coaches need practice! While there are lots of things that can distract us from the present moment, one of the common issues I’ve seen is that, when we’re not authentically aligned, we tend to be insecure. And insecurity prevents us from focusing on others because we’re constantly focused on ourselves.
One of the reasons a lot of people put off personal development is because they want to focus on improving their external relationships first. Ironically, the opposite is sometimes a big part of the solution to problems they’re experiencing. When we know ourselves, trust ourselves, and love ourselves, we show up more consistently in our relationships which builds trust and connection in those relationships. We’re less affected by other people’s moods and opinions, which gives them greater freedom to be authentic with us as well.
So as you plan your Valentine's dates this month, remember to carve out time to nurture the most important relationship of all—your relationship with yourself. If you need some help, check out our Unlock Your IT Factor course that can help you do just that. Here's to a month of self-discovery and meaningful connections!
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