Shoulder Pads, Self-Doubt, and Ghosts of 80s Past

As a personal stylist by trade, I naturally followed the runway recaps and trend reports of Paris Fashion Week so I’d know what’s coming for my clients.

And one thing is clear: the 80s are back in full effect.

Photo: Giannoni/WWD via Getty Images

I hit puberty in the 80s. Which meant that hormones and big hair arrived at the same time, and let me tell you—it was a recipe for fashion disaster.

A lot was happening. Aquanet and angst. Body glitter and braces. Shoulder pads that made me look like a linebacker. It was a lot to manage.

So—TRIGGER WARNING—seeing the shoulder pads, the double-breasted suits, the bangles, the belts hitting the runway brought back major flashbacks.

And while my initial reaction was to cringe at the memories of my OG 80s experience, I also realized that, just like the fashion trends have been updated to fit modern life, maybe, just maybe, our stories can evolve too.

The Ghosts of Adolescence

Here’s the thing. I’ve been to counseling. I’ve done my work.

But the images of the double-breasted suits and 80s fashion hitting the runway made me realize there are traces of the ghosts from the past that still rear their heads from time to time.

And, from my work as a Life Stylist and Burnout Recovery Coach, I know I’m not alone.

A lot of us—whether we’re running companies or running around driving carpool—are still carrying around the stories we picked up in adolescence.

It doesn’t matter how many degrees we’ve earned, how many promotions we’ve landed, or how good we are at handling everyone else’s chaos.

On the outside, we’ve got it together. But on the inside? Sometimes we still feel like that awkward little girl in junior high, hoping no one notices that our bangs aren’t behaving.

We bring those old stories with us like it’s Bring Your Inner Child to Work Day.

Even though we’re grown, we sometimes lug along:

• The Mean Girls—peering over your shoulder as you type that work email, whispering, “Are you sure you’re qualified for this?” before you hit send.

• Those Obnoxious Teenage Boys—laughing in the background as you go on a date or step up to give a presentation.

• Your Critical Mother—correcting everything you do, reminding you that you should be working harder. And so you hustle. You’re a perfectionist and a people pleaser, burning yourself out trying to prove her wrong—or maybe still seeking approval.

  
  

And we wonder why we’re exhausted.

We think we’ve outgrown them. But they’re still there, lingering like the scent of Teen Spirit in a P.E. locker room.

It's Time for an Upgrade

But here’s the good news: We are not stuck in those old stories of self-doubt.

Just like shoulder pads and bubble skirts got a modern upgrade, so can we.

What if we stopped carrying around outdated versions of ourselves? What if we stopped measuring ourselves against a past that no longer fits?

Because here’s what I know: You are not the girl you were in junior high.

You are the woman who has built a life, made hard choices, and kept going even when you wanted to quit. You’ve learned, adapted, and grown in ways your teenage self could never imagine.

So as we don the 80s fashions once again, this time let’s not do it to fit in.

If you wear those shoulder pads, this time, wear them for you.

Because if we’re making a comeback, let’s do it on our own terms.

So tell me—what outdated story are you ready to let go of?

Because you’re worth it.

~Your Real Life Fairy Godmother™ #emergeempowered #succeedwithstyle #unlockyourITfactor