Today we find ourselves in a period of some serious shifts.In my world, there’s lots of conversation about new policies, layoffs, or restructured systems–both in and out of the professional world.
Some of these changes are good. There are lots of outmoded policies and systems designed in the industrial age (or before) that simply don’t work and aren’t relevant in our modern world.However, the voices optimistically declaring that all of these changes, like the repeal of affirmative action and removal of DEI policies, are a sign that problems no longer exist aren’t exactly accurate either.
The truth is that pay gaps, inequality, and lack of accessibility and diversity continue to exist in this world. Life's not fair. Or equitable.
So the question a lot of people have is, what do we do about it?
While I admire advocates and those who lead the fight for change, we all have to pick our own battles and decide the best way for us to add our voice to the conversation. We don’t all have to start a revolution (though there are those that do) and we don’t have to roll over and pretend we’re okay with inequalities and injustices (though there are those that do that too).
So what can we do?
I’ve lived through my own share of challenges.
I attended inner-city schools and witnessed firsthand the effects of systemic racial and economic inequality. I’ve worked in male-dominated industries where microaggressions weren’t intentional, but they were there, shaping the way I was perceived. I’m chronically ill, living with neurological symptoms and chronic pain, yet I’ve been judged for not being able to do as much or keep up with others because I “don’t even look sick.” And I’m a single mom who’s been judged for my parenting choices, all while navigating the financial and emotional toll of legal battles with my ex.
I’ve seen unfairness, bias, bigotry and injustice firsthand.
But here’s what I’ve learned: you can spend your energy trying to change people (which can be an exhausting and, often, losing battle), or you can focus on creating the change you want to see in the world.
And that’s what I’m doing. Here are some of the tips and tricks I’ve found to navigating unfairness and frustration with grace as I move forward despite my circumstances:
1. Recognize Your Own Value
I don’t need to be a gate-crasher at every party. There was a time when I didn’t mind putting in extra effort to assert myself in spaces where I could thrive. But these days? I align myself with brands, organizations, and communities that recognize my worth. And if they don’t exist? I’ll create them.
I don’t need to fight outmoded thinking to stand in my own light.
And neither do you.
2. Find Your Style and Raise Your Voice—or Speak Through Action
Not everyone is called to be on the front lines of advocacy. Some people create change through policy and protests while others do it through their daily choices.
We vote with our ballots, but we also vote with our time, money, and attention. Supporting causes, brands, and organizations that align with our values is a powerful statement.
However you choose to show up, own it.
Your impact doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. And what matters is that you can go to bed at night knowing that you lived in your integrity–even if others don’t.
3. Create a World of Inclusion
When we don’t like the behaviors and choices of others, we have two options: we can try to change them (which rarely works), or we can focus on creating change within our own sphere of influence.
The truth is, I don’t know how all these shifts in DEI will play out. But if life has taught me anything, it’s that setbacks don’t define me.
I roll with the punches, reassess, and create a plan to move forward in my integrity—always holding my head high.
And so can you.
You’re worth it.
~Your Real Life Fairy Godmother™
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